Threshold Party Rules & Etiquette

(updated 11/9/19)

Threshold has put together this guide for all party attendees. Any questions or concerns can be brought to your Dungeon Monitors (DM’s) or Board members.  All attendees at any Threshold event must be 18 or older.  Common sense, respect, and courtesy towards others are always the order of the day.  DMs, Board Members, and party hosts are always here if you need them.

Basic Threshold Rules


All activities at a Threshold function must be consensual between all parties involved.  Remember that no means NO and once is enough!  Consent can be withdrawn at any time during a scene.  The club safeword is “RED.”  If a DM hears that safeword, he or she will interrupt the scene to make sure everything and anyone is okay.


Keep confidential the names, telephone numbers, addresses, occupations and activities of your fellow members.  The identities of our membership are held in the strictest confidence.   “Outing” a member – in any way – is forbidden.  Get permission before addressing another member in public; remember that not everyone is “out”.   This also applies to sharing personal information about one member with another member without permission (i.e. sharing someone’s phone # or email address, etc.).  Also, you may not discuss club business or name members of the club on any online or public venue.  When non-members inquire about Threshold, please refer them a Board member or to our website.

Cell Phones, Cameras or Recording Devices

Threshold cares about your privacy.  Please do not bring cameras or other recording devices to a Threshold function.  Cell phones are permitted ONLY in the lobby and patio – and ONLY as a phone.  Photography is entirely prohibited on Threshold property.  Once past the lobby door into the Main Room, all cell phones must be turned OFF or on VIBRATE mode and completely out of sight AT ALL TIMES.  They may not be brought out for any reason, unless you are in the lobby or the patio.  If you get a call or a text please take your cell phone out to the lobby before you answer the call or read the text.

No Drugs or Intoxication

Threshold prohibits the use of drugs or alcohol at any of its functions (this includes medical marijuana).  Since we believe that a clear head is needed for safe SM play, intoxication is not tolerated.  If you appear to be inebriated, you will be approached by a DM for your own safety and the safety of others.  Members who appear inebriated may be asked to leave.

Party Etiquette

Our members express themselves and their SM in a variety of sexual and non-sexual ways.  Threshold welcomes all such expressions that are legal, safe, sane, and consensual.  Watching and being watched is part of the experience of being in a public dungeon.  Party goers are invited to watch scenes from a respectful distance, so long as they do not interrupt the scene.  Please keep chat to a whisper when people are playing around you.  Loud talking kills moods!  

Members and guests acknowledge they may be exposed to nudity and/or sexuality when they enter our facility.  Please understand that this is an SM organization – at parties you may be exposed to clothing, language and activities that may trigger a strong emotional response.  Proceed with caution if you are likely to be triggered.

Cleanliness is important.  Please make sure that you clean all dungeon equipment that you use, and any surface you may have come in contact with – including your body fluids.  We’ve provided spray bottles of Madacide and paper towels for your convenience. Spray down surfaces thoroughly with Madacide, and then let it sit for a full two minutes.  You will be tempted to wipe the surface early – don’t do it!  Let it sit for the full two minutes, and then wipe it dry.  The space is now ready for someone else to play.

Sex Guidelines

Threshold parties do not allow sexual activity at this time.  Sexual activity is defined as mouth to genital or genital to genital contact.   Masturbation, and the insertion of toys, fingers, hands, strap-ons, etc. is permitted.  Please clean up any mess you might make.

No Exchange of Money for Professional Services of Any Kind

This includes professional dominants, professional submissive, chiropractors, masseurs, accountants, and brick-layers.  On occasion, Threshold may have vendors or boot-blacks on site, and they may receive payment or tips for their work.


Threshold members may bring a maximum of two non-member guests to a Members only party.  Please make sure that your guests are aware of the nature of the event, and that they bring proof-of-age ID (e.g., driver’s license).  You will need to have your Threshold membership card to guest them in, and your guests must sign liability release forms at the door.  Please remember that Threshold members are entirely responsible and accountable for the behavior of their guests, so please make certain that your guests know the party rules before attending.


Smoking is not permitted anywhere in our clubhouse.  If you wish to smoke you must go out into the alley.  Please put on street clothes if you are going to go out to smoke.

Glass containers

Glass containers of any type are prohibited, with the exception of candles and other approved glass play equipment, such as violet wands.  No one needs broken glass in a dark dungeon!

Food and Drinks

Food is only allowed in the kitchen, patio or lobby.  Drinks are allowed in the play areas as long as they are in unbreakable containers and have lids.  Please note:  Exposed breasts, buttocks and genitals are prohibited in the kitchen.  If you’re naked, ask a friend to get drinks for you!

Play Guidelines

  • Fire play of any sort is not permitted at this time. (exception: see wax play)
  • Wax play is permitted by permission of the DM.  Please bring plastic sheets, covers, tarps etc. so that none of your wax gets on dungeon furniture or on the floor.  Those engaging in wax play are responsible for careful clean-up of their bottom and of the area they were playing in, and properly dispose of any wax remnants.
  • Play scenes must consist of at least two people – no solo play is allowed.
  • Solo masturbation is not permitted, except as part of a scene. (clean up in such cases is always required)
  • Erotic asphyxiation or breath play is strictly prohibited.  This includes chocking, tight collars, bondage around the neck, and over mouth and nose, etc.  Gags are permitted with DM permission.
  • If you are doing any kind of piercing or cutting please clear your scene with a DM first.  Keep your play scene contained in order to avoid the possibility of cross-contamination; cover all surfaces with sheeting; and bring your own Sharps container for disposal of needles/blades.  Careful cleaning of the surrounding area after your scene is required.
  • Do not leave anyone in bondage unattended.
  • Pee play (golden showers) is permitted at Members Only parties and only in the theme rooms – you MUST bring a kiddy pool to contain the fluid, and also please remember the no mouth to genital or genital to genital rules.  Scat and enema play are not permitted.
  • Please remember to whisper in areas where play is happening, and in the hallway.  Please use the lobby, patio and kitchen areas to socialize.

Time Limits

Remember that this is a “we” club, not a “me” club.  At busy parties there may be others waiting to use the equipment you are using – please be sensitive of that.  On busy nights, please limit your play time on a particular piece of equipment to about an hour or an hour and a half, so everyone gets to play.  The DM will monitor play stations during busy parties.

Theme Rooms

Theme rooms have sign-up sheets.  If you wish to use a theme room, ask the DM to sign you in properly.  Theme rooms are for intimate or semi-private kinds of play.  You may observe this play by standing outside the door in a silent unobtrusive manner.  Do not enter or lean into a room.  Please limit your observation time so that it does not intrude into the scene by staring intently or making your presence intrusive.  Do not block the hallway.  Some rooms are split to allow for two scenes simultaneously. Give those playing the physical and mental room to enact their scene or move on to another location.

Emergency Procedures

In the rare case of an emergency (loss of electricity, earthquake, fire) emergency procedures will be implemented.  Please follow the instructions of the DM.  Stay quiet, calm and LISTEN for directions.  Tops should always stay with their bottoms and are responsible for their safety, especially in an emergency. Failure to respond to the DMs in an emergency situation will be taken very seriously.